That list I talked about in my latest post has worked! Due to its success, I now have a new one with more useful things than ‘listen to raindrops’ or ‘have someone fetch you some chocolate’. It’s a light version of a to-do list which cautiously tells me to do things like:
- clean 1 window
- order 12v lamp
- try out glue gun
- paint cactus logo
- do a painting for entryway
- read on indoor photography
- think about shelf in bathroom
- find desk lamp for plant corner
- trim fern that bothers Passiflora
- put a second coat of grey paint on sidetable
- do something (anything) with dog silhouette
- declutter living room table (it’s a tiny 1.1m² table, doable!)
- buy chocolate with caramel and salt for friend (and myself)
I still often have a surge of rage coming up out of the blue, want to sleep like a puppy, have a head that seems to be filled with cotton balls or limbs I just can’t get to do their normal moving thing, fear going outside, feel there is too much noise or too many people around (even when they’re only on the phone), hate myself too much to do anything productive and still am sad and teary, more often than not for no apparent reason.
But in spite of all that, ticking those boxes has been very satisfying and motivating. I’ve started and even finished a few projects over the past months, involving (spray)painting and building furniture.